peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize