She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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