a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
