I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize