You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
