Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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