we made out on top of his cat.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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