sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
