I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
