he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
