Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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