oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
