went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
