We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Randomize
