No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize