Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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