im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
