i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
