i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
