btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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