I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
