I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
