no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
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