I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
