I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
