you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize