i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize