did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
