I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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