He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize