my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
