I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
