You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize