I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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