is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
