Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
