Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
