Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
The air was thick with penises
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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