I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
