the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
