clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just took my morning after pill in the library
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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