I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
