is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
