We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
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