It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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