so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
