She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
