Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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