i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
