whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
