After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
