the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Fuck me I smell like cheese
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize