And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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