I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
are you so shy because you have an std?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
In other news, I just burned my penis
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
