I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
