Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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