Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
