i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Fuck appropriateness.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize