Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
