PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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