Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
