It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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