oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
