I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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