he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
