please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
