I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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