can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize