Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
